Friday, 8 December 2017

Catching Up

In the lifetime of this blog I've had to write a fair few of these apology posts. But none were as hard as this one. Because even though I'm sorry to my followers and the developers I've let down by not being here and reviewing the games I said I would I can't say I'd have behaved any different. I couldn't.

As anyone who follows me on Twitter knows I lost my beloved Mum to cancer at the end of September. She was just 48. The last six weeks or so of her life were spent in the hospital. Actually she spent much of the last six months in and out of the place. But in the last six weeks it was clear there wasn't much time left. So I was there pretty much every day, spending all the time I could with her and attempting to support my dad through this horrific time.

In the now two and a half months that has followed - I can't actually believe it's been that long since I last saw her face - I have been trying to spend as much time as possible with my family. I'd like to say helping them, but sometimes I fear I've been more of a hindrance than a help. Also my Dad has surprised me with his strength and hasn't needed me as much as I've needed to feel like I could help. If that makes sense. I'm realising now, that as much as we may not want it too life has to carry on. We have to pick ourselves up and carry on through every day, knowing full well there will always be a huge black hole in our hearts that can never be full again. It isn't easy. It doesn't feel right, or fair. But this is the hand that life has dealt us so we adapt and keep going.

So I guess instead of apologising I guess I'm asking for understanding. I'm going to start catching up on the reviews I should have been doing these past couple of months, starting today. Because I have to carry on - even if I want to shy away from the world.

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