Rock Zombie (Xbox One) - Review

Rock Zombie is available now on the Xbox One and is priced at £6.39.

Yeah, that's pretty cheap for an Xbox One game, isn't it? Yeah...there's a reason for that. This game is terrible and not in the 'so bad it's good sense' just in the 'shit why am I wasting my time' sense. Like Toro.

Straight away upon loading it up I didn't like it. After ten minutes I loathed it. The graphics are just awful (seriously the bright palate does not detract from how butt ugly the game is) and honestly look like they belong on the last gen, if not the PS2 era. Gameplay is repetitive and not fun at all, even when it does work how it should.

I guess it's supposed to be a modern take on Streets of Rage. It's a side scrolling beat 'em up yes, but that's where the similarities begin and end. Rock Zombie is lacklustre at best and just downright awful the majority of the time. The music makes you start grinding your teeth within ten seconds and the gameplay will have you grinding them to stumps in minutes. It's very simplistic, which I guess is what's to be expected from a side-scroller, but this takes simplicity to an all new level of dullness. Combat is repetitive and a bit hit and miss on whether you're actually aiming where you think you are (and where your character is pointing before the attack animation kicks in).

In case it wasn't clear guys, skip this one. Even if it's on the best damn sale you've ever seen. NOT WORTH IT.

1/10 SKIP IT!

A code was provided for the purpose of this review. 

Clockwork Tales Of Glass and Ink (Xbox One) - Review

Clockwork Tales of Glass and Ink is available now on the Xbox One and is priced at £7.99.

Artifex Mundi have released another hidden object game onto home console following last years Nightmares from the Deep: The Cursed Heart. Clockwork Tales of Glass and Ink has been ported from mobile devices to Xbox One, so is it worth picking up for the big screen?

The good news is that Clockwork Tales of Glass and Ink is a lot better than Nightmares from the Deep, well in my opinion anyway. Graphics are hand-drawn and quite beautiful, but the voice acting is still amongst the cheesiest I've ever heard. 

The controls in Clockwork Tales of Glass and Ink work much better than they did in Nightmares from the Deep. Don't get me wrong, they're still not perfect and I still had a few moments where I was clearly clicking on what was needed but getting the big red circle. Even though this game does feature a lot of hidden object scenes, the story is not solely propelled by these scenes. The game is an albeit very simple point-and-click adventure with some light puzzle elements. Even going straight in on Expert difficulty it posed little in the way of challenge and was completed well within 5 hours. This is probably my biggest criticism of this game, it definitely errs on the side of too simple. 

The story is better too, marginally anyway. You must first save Dr Ink and then the world (obviously) from Gerhard Barber and his big machine. There are some collectable bugs along the way too, with achievements for collecting all of the bugs in each area. It's an easy game to max out the achievements on, although I haven't done this myself yet due to missing a couple of bugs :(

I still think the price is a little high, despite enjoying my time with the game. I think it'd have been better priced around the £5.59 mark we have seen other games release at. If you're dying for some point-and-click, hidden object adventures then pick it up by all means, but if you have a little patience wait for a sale.  

6/10 TRY IT!

A code was provided for the purpose of this review. 

This War of Mine: The Little Ones (Xbox One) - Review

This War of Mine: The Little Ones is available now on Xbox One and is priced at £23.99.

I know a fair few people who are refusing to even consider playing this game because of the title. Knowing nothing else about the game, other than the fact it has children in it and is about a war has been a deal-breaker for many of my friends. Luckily I am not as soft. I am a Mummy to two beautiful children, and anything depicting children suffering breaks my heart and leaves me sobbing for hours. But I am ok with showing my emotions and believe that experiences like that only serve to make us more well-rounded and empathetic humans. Or maybe I'm just a masochist...

This War of Mine first realised a couple of years back on PC. The console version comes with The Little Ones update. This War of Mine sees you take control of the people left behind in a war. Not the soldiers we are so often playing as, but the people who have had their homes, families and country ravaged by the effects of war. We must help them survive. 

You start off with 3 blokes, Marko, Pavle and Bruno. In the day you are stuck inside your shelter, too fearful to go out because of the snipers and troops on the ground that would kill you on sight. So you can build furniture for your base, get some much-needed rest or eat some of your meagre food to stay just above 'starving'. I restarted the game 3 times, desperate to use my first day in the house the best way I could, before giving up on my third attempt and accepting that what will be will be. There was one of the fellas who could carry much more weight on the nightly scavenging runs, so he became our runner, whilst the other two took it in turns to guard the shelter or sleep (this was only after I had already been raided once and they had taken all of our tiny food supply). 

So I would have him go scavenging every night. At first the places you visit are fairly easy to get things from, no soldiers or thugs in sight, but soon this runs out and you have to start making the more dangerous runs to get the supplies you need. I had given the last of our food to two hungry children that had knocked on and begged, I could;t ignore children. But now I was desperate, everyone was starving and I had found all of the food from the first Shelled Cottage. I went somewhere where others were camped out, hoping that there would still be a few cubbyholes to search for food in. Unfortunately there was no food. The guy was asking me for bandages for his old sick dad, but I had none of those either. He started to get impatient and then violent so I stabbed him. And his dad. 

What happened next was interesting. I went back home and he sat on a previously unnoticed bit of rubble right in the doorway. He was having a breakdown and couldn't be controlled anymore. The other two, when I clicked on their Bios, were questioning why he had committed such a terrible act. The shelter was starting to fall apart and I had only brought back enough food for two.

I'm not going to go anymore into my first foray into This War of Mine, I think it should be a personal experience when you first play it and I don't want to ruin anything for anyone. Suffice it to say there have been tears, questions and times I have truly hated myself for the actions I have taken. But that what this game is about. You're not going to have fun with This War of Mine, you're getting an experience, a story, a narrative we hopefully will never experience in real life. And that is what makes it a must play. 

9/10 BUY IT!

A code was provided for the purpose of this review. 

Adventure Time: Finn and Jake Investigations (Xbox One) - Review

Adventure Time: Finn and Jake Investigations is available now on the Xbox One and is priced at £39.99 on the Xbox Marketplace.

I have never watched Adventure Time. I know, I know why bother reading the rest of the review? Well I'm reviewing it for everyone out there who hasn't seen it either, and who possibly has kids mithering for it because 'it looks cute'.

So yeah, I come to this game fresh out of the box, knowing nothing of the world of Ooo past what this game shows me. I have no idea why they live in a tree or even why Jake can morph into various different things in combat. I've been told the game is voiced by the same people who voice the show and that it is a representation of the Adventure Time TV show. And that, I am afraid, concludes all I can give to fans of the show. Now for anyone else who is thinking of picking up this game based on the merits of the actual game rather than a love for the original show, I have a little bit more to say...

I thought this game would be a fun little game to play with my children. An investigation game that doesn't include fine-combing a grisly murder scene or references that would swoop right over their heads and leave them bored. I was right in this, the game is quite a cutesy little point-and-click game which sees Finn and Jake investigating various crimes in Ooo. There's nothing too taxing about solving the puzzles and the children solved much of the game themselves. Like any point-and-click game it features a lot 'this person needs this before you can get through there' type quests, but my children enjoyed these greatly. My eldest is seven this week and he often complained of 'having to do the same thing over and over' so bear this in mind.

It wasn't just the repetitive fetch quests that were dull though, the combat - whilst fun for the first couple of battles - soon devolves into an extremely simplistic matter of bashing various buttons until the enemies are dispatched, which failed to even keep my three year old amused. My son actually told me all about his homework whilst not looking at the screen and still beat the baddies. It really is that easy.

Achievements are easily gained, and the game is easy to complete. There is very little chance that you'd wish to replay it, as the game is repetitive enough the first time around. The game just lacks a little polish and the gameplay is too dull and repetitive for me to be able to recommend it. If you're looking to increase the old Gamerscore and see this below £15 then pick it up, maybe.

4/10 TRY IT!

A code was provided for the purpose of this review.

Sparkle 2 (Xbox One) - Review

Sparkle 2 is available from the 27th January on the Xbox One and is priced at £6.39. There will be a 15% discount at launch.

I reviewed their first Xbox One offering, Sparkle Unleashed back when that was released and really enjoyed it. There was just something about its simplicity that made it so much fun. In fact until I received Sparkle 2 I was still playing Unleashed regularly, trying to complete it on hard.

Now there were some things that bugged me about Unleashed, more so the longer I've had the game. The chains around the ball once you got to the more difficult levels were infuriating and seemed like a really forced in way to extend the game. Other niggles that I had at the beginning disappeared the longer I played it, such as the shooter that was on rails along the bottom of the screen rather than rotating from one position. At first this really riled me, but after playing the game for awhile you soon get used to it. So much so that moving from this to Sparkle 2 took some getting used to as Sparkle 2 makes use of a rotating shooter, making it much more like my personal Xbox 360 favourite Zuma.

I remember writing in my review of Unleashed that it could borrow more from Zuma - the rotating shooter being the main thing. Sparkle 2 definitely feels more like a Zuma clone, and I don't mean that negatively - it just feels more polished than its predecessor. They have removed those annoying chained balls and it has made the game infinitely more fun. There are new power ups too which are fun to play around with. You can also add power ups to four points on your shooter which is another great addition. In short they have taken everything I liked about Sparkle Unleashed and improved upon it. This game is easy to pick up, difficult to master and even harder to put down. I did fifty levels in one sitting and completed it in three - in fact such are the levels of my addiction that after completing it I immediately picked the highest difficulty and restarted it. Achievements in this game are generous and not all that difficult, at least if you enjoy the game. They're basically just for playing the game and the different modes available.

At £6.39 I can wholeheartedly recommend this game to anyone who just wants a fun game to play. It really is so addictive and seeing a big chain come together is still so satisfying. Grab it when it releases guys!

9/10 BUY IT!

A code was provided for the purpose of this review. 

Big Pharma (Steam) - Review

Big Pharma is available now on Steam and is priced at £18.99.

In Big Pharma you are tasked with running a drug company. You have to create the pills, balance the books and basically make sure you turn a profit from selling your drugs. Which sounds like it'd be fairly simple, but watch the side effects of your drugs - too many and it isn't going to sell. Similarly if your drug is too perfect, you're gonna kill the market. It's a tough balancing act. 

I am a massive fan of Theme Hospital and every year or so I replay it and start looking for a game that comes close to its greatness. If, like me, you came to Big Pharma hoping for that I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed.

That's not to say Big Pharma is a bad game. It isn't, it's actually alright. But for me it just isn't in depth enough where it matters. You do have to put a lot of thought into creating the right drugs and working out which machines you need in order to do so yes, but the act of doing this is what cheapens the game. You end up with rooms full of winding conveyor belts that change your pill from one colour to another (increasing its abilities/side effects) before it reaches the end of the line. But it's just not very satisfying.

The magic of Theme Hospital was in the humour and Big Pharma sorely lacks in that department. It wants to take itself seriously but the game play is just too gimmicky in places for that to happen. I wanted FULL management, building, placing of rooms etc. not just pills and profit. The business management side of the game is quite good and will see you making some pretty questionable decisions ethics-wise, but for the most part the game just feels pretty lacking. 

The game works beautifully, I haven't yet encountered a bug. Controls are great and the interface is intuitive. At first it feels really complicated - the tutorials feel never-ending and aren't worded very well in my opinion, but it quickly becomes quite simple and repetitive. And in this price range I just don't think that's acceptable. Wait for a sale guys.

5/10 TRY IT!

A code was provided for the purpose of this review. 

Dannie Kitten's Gaming Year

You may have read about my "Top Three Games of 2015" on Honest Games Reviews (http://honestgamesreviews.com/blog/hgrs-games-of-2015/) but as I mentioned there, I don't think picking just three games has given enough credit to the games of 2015. So I have chosen to expand upon that here and give you my top picks of 2015. 

I have found 2015 to be a great year for gaming. There have been a massive number of Indie and AAA games that have been hugely enjoyable. I've been thinking about formats in which I could write about my picks of the year...a top ten, choosing the best of the genres etc. And in truth I still don't know how I'm going to tell you about my favourite gaming moments this year. So I'm just gonna start writing and see where it takes me...

Best Game for Kids: There have been plenty of games I have been able to enjoy with my son this year and in fact I was going to give this to Octodad: Deadliest Catch purely based on how much time we spent laughing together at it. But seeing as this is the award for kids I should probably ask my kid what he thinks and his vote goes to Lego Dimensions because it's "really, really good. About a 1000% good" because "you can go in Homer Simpson's world as Batman". I should point out that this is one of the main reasons Lego Dimensions is great, unlike Disney Infinity which only allows you to use certain toys in certain areas Lego Dimensions gives you free reign to play as whoever you want whenever you want, which has gone down a storm in my house. 

Best Xbox One Exclusive: Some people love them, some people hate them but there's no denying that console exclusivity is here to stay. I'm not going to count timed exclusives in here, because unless you're a really impatient person you can get the game on any console at some point in time. These categories are for the games that will never see the light of day on the "rival" console. So with that in mind it is Gears of War:Ultimate Edition that has to win this crown. I know, I know it is a re-release BUT it is a damn perfect re-release of a game that is actually pretty old. Seriously load up the original and just feel how clunky it is. 

Best PS4 Exclusive: Now I bought my PS4 when I felt like there were enough exclusives on it that I wanted to play. A lot of people give Sony stick for not having exclusives, but I don't really understand where this comes from...I found it much harder to nail down my favourite PS4 exclusive of the year. I haven't been able to play some of the games I have on this yet, so they obviously couldn't enter into the list (sorry Bloodborne!). I opted for the game that I primarily bought the PS4 for, Until Dawn. I bought this and my brother came round the next night to play it and over the next couple of weeks I saw him much more than usual! Until Dawn is basically a game of a cheesy 90's horror film...and that's what makes it GREAT! Graphically the game is superb and the game really does have plenty of shocks. I can't wait to play it again and hopefully save more people!

Best Wii U: Seeing as we've given awards to PS4 and XB1 exclusives we obviously need to do it for the Wii U too. Choosing this was pretty hard too, much harder than it was choosing for XB1. But really there has been one truly stand out game on the Wii U and it ties in with the below award too...

Best Fan Service Game: In a year that saw a bazillion games getting a HD remake "because the fans wanted it" this award should have been a lot harder to give out. But in my mind the only game that can be considered a true fan service this year is Super Mario Maker for the Wii U. Super Mario Maker gave Mario fans the world over the power (and an incredible interface!) to make their own Mario levels. Honestly the UI is something dreams are made of and the ability to share your levels online and download other means you will never run out of Mario levels to try. 

Best Co-op: I love to play games co-op but this year, this gen even, I don't think there have been enough co-op games. Ark: Survival Evolved has changed that, finally. Ark is a great survival game, but it gets infinitely better when played alongside friends. Find it in Early Access now and grab it (if you're not one of 1,000,000+ who has already).

Best Multiplayer: I'm using multiplayer as online and against others to shoehorn this one in here really. And you can play the winner of this co-op in what is actually my favourite mode but anyway Star Wars: Battlefront is my multiplayer game of the year. Which is a good job seeing as the majority of the game is in the Online section. Fast and slick (when you're not suffering from lag anyway) Star Wars Battlefront is the most fun I've had in an online shooter for ages. 

Most Graphically Impressive: There have been many games this year that have been pretty damn beautiful. Hell seeing an AT-AT go down in Star Wars Battlefront is an amazing experience. But I have to say I find myself most blown away by Rise of the Tomb Raider. Even now when I have played a fair bit of it, I still find myself loading it up and being surprised at just how gorgeous it is. 

Shooter of the Year: As much as I have enjoyed the aforementioned Star Wars Battlefront it isn't my shooter of the year. Splatoon on the Wii U is. Just like Plants vs Zombies: Garden Warfare  did when that was released Splatoon brings the fun back into an over-saturated market, and it is family-friendly which will always win out in this house. But even if you don't have kids to play it with Splatoon is well worth picking up.

Best Character: The last time I did a gaming award thing was a few years ago and Kenny from Telltale's The Walking Dead won it. This award is just a little nod to a fun or well-written character. This year I found it quite hard really, as even though we've had many a brilliant game I don't think there has been much in the way of great characters. It was going to go to Chumbucket from Mad Max because he really did make me laugh, but I felt like this would be to cheapen the award. Life is Strange offered us some great characters but the dialogue was sometimes a bit jarring, which initially put me off giving this award to a character from that. But after much deliberation the only character this award could have gone to is Chloe. She is a really well-written character; she is flawed, scared and angry with a myriad of issues but she's also loyal and fierce. It was great fun getting to know her and I hope to see more of her again.

Best Telltale Game: Ok maybe I'm cheating here, giving Telltale their very own category but bear with me. This year saw the release of three (!) episodic Telltale games: Tales from the Borderlands, Minecraft: Story Mode and Game of Thrones: A Telltale Series. I have been lucky enough to play all three so I'm going to tell you which one you should buy if, for some crazy reason you have limited yourself to just one. And the answer is...Game of Thrones: A Telltale Series every time. This game was the perfect foray into the world of Westeros, featuring plenty of betrayal and nastiness from some of our favourite characters from the show (honestly Cersei's smirk translates just as well to a game world). This game truly pulls the rug out from under you multiple times throughout, and it is all the better for it. 

Honourable Mentions: There are a lot of games that I have had a LOT of fun with this year, so I'm going to give them a mention because I want to spread the love. 

The Escapists - One of the first games I streamed on Twitch when I began earlier this year, it is a great little sandbox game where you have to escape from different prisons. DLC is cheap for those looking for more places to escape from and there has even been FREE DLC! 

Everybody's Gone to the Rapture - I know this game got a lot of stick for being a "walking-sim" but when you really delve into it, was you get is a great story that is beautifully realised. Honestly I was flicking through my Twitter pics the other day and screens of this game were sandwiched between pictures I had taken at Lyme Park. I had to do a double take. It is THAT beautiful.

Sparkle Unleashed - I love me a good ball-busting puzzle game and this has filled the Zuma shaped hole in my XB1. And even though Zuma is now available through backwards compatibility I still find myself down "just one more level" on this. 

Plague Inc. Evolved - A late entry because I only picked it up in the sale but this iOS game has made a great transition to the home console. Well worth picking up!

King's Quest - Another episodic game, but this is releasing much further apart than anything Telltale does and has 1000G per episode! It's a great little game that serves as a decent nostalgia kick for any 90's point and click fans out there. 

Quest of Dungeons - A great little game that you put on for ten minutes and end up forgetting to feed the dog (or children) because of. Buy it.

Ori and the Blind Forest -  This game doesn't need me to give it an honourable mention, I'm yet to speak to someone who didn't love it. But it was a beauty of a game and if you haven't already you should play it. Now. 

Anyone who follows HonestGameReviews will have already read what is below, but if you haven't please read on to find out what my Top Three Picks of 2015 were. I think 2015 has been a damn good year for gaming and I'm excited to see what 2016 can bring us. I hope everyone has a fantastic New Year and I'll see you all in 2016! 

3. The Swindle

The Swindle is easily my favourite indie game of the year and is the perfect example of a simple premise that has been perfectly executed. The graphics are good but the controls and handling are where this game really shines, it is just so slick and responsive. The aim of the game is to complete a number of heists in the hope of doing the big one within 100 days. Each heist is different as they're all randomly generated so no two players games will be the same. Your character can die (mine does a LOT which I'm sure anyone who watches my Twitch streams is surprised to hear) but you can respawn with a new one minus all of the upgrades you had purchased. The Swindle is the perfect game to have pinned for whenever you have a spare ten minutes, but be warned ten minutes is never enough on The Swindle.

2. Life is Strange

Life is Strange is an episodic game that, to date, I have only played through once so it obviously hasn't had that many hours put into it. But this game makes it onto the top three list anyway because it is just that good. Yeah the dialogue is sometimes pretty cringe-y but Life is Strange deals with ideas that are rarely touched upon in this medium and it does it really well. In a year that saw a huge slew of episodic games Life is Strange is the standout title for sure. The graphical style is beautiful and whimsical making Arcadia Bay one of my favourite game locations of the year. For the most part the characters are engaging and well-written, but the best thing about this game is the way in which it explores "The Butterfly Effect". As always I'm spoiler free so I won't go into much more detail, but I see this being in a sale in the not so distant future and if you haven't already bought it then you should definitely pick it up then. Life is Strange is a brave idea of a game that actually worked and I can't wait to play it through again.

1. Fallout 4

Anyone who knows me knows I am a HUGE fan of the Fallout franchise, and well, Bethesda in general. Bethesda can do no wrong for me and Fallout 4 has just cemented that for me. Fallout 4 has offered a vast improvement on all previous Fallout games and given us yet another amazing open world to explore. Graphics aren't quite as shiny as some of the other offerings this year, but it's a new Fallout game so most of us can forgive it for that. And for the first time your character has an actual voice - something I never realised I missed in previous Fallout games until this one. You don't need me to go into a ton of detail about a game as huge as Fallout 4, unless you've lived in a bunker you know of it and what it offers to gamers. Fallout 3 had always been the game I'd take to a desert island but Fallout 4 has hopped, skipped and jumped right over it. I have sunk many an hour into it already and barely scratched it's surface. But the time I've spent in the Commonwealth isn't nearly enough, and I fear that I could spend a year of my life on it and still miss some of it's offerings. If you're looking for a game that offers MASSIVE value for money look no further. Buy it. Now.

Worst Game of 2015: Toro

I mean, seriously, if this isn't on everyones worst games list it'll be a miracle. Everything about it is terrible and it had the honour of being the first game I ever deleted from my XB1 and gave a 0 star rating when forced to review it. To be fair on RecoTech they seemed to take all of the stick I sent their way quite well, even sending me multiple copies of their next release for review and giveaways. I'm still trying to decide whether that was meant as more of a punishment though...

One to Watch in 2016: Gears 4

I found this really tough to narrow down, and I was hoping I'd pick a little known indie or something less mainstream. But I'm a MASSIVE Gears fan and I am thoroughly invested in the universe so the opportunity to play another Gears game on the new hardware is hugely exciting for me. With the release of Gears of War: Ultimate Edition earlier this year my excitement for another Gears instalment only grew and I can't wait! Sorry to anyone reading this who was hoping to see something they had missed for next year!