An Apology...

This will be one of the harder blog posts I've ever written, but it's long overdue so I'm going to try. It doesn't really fit with the work I usually put out on here, but it has directly affected my work and so I feel the need to try and explain a little...

First off I want to issue an apology to anyone who reads this and all the developers and publishers I've had the pleasure of working with. I want to apologise for how lacking in content both my blog and my Twitch channel have been recently. My last post was a whole month ago, but since then I've still been being sent games so my backlog is pretty damn huge. I AM going to write them all up in due course, but first I want to explain a little about myself.

I suffer from crippling anxiety - from the moment I wake up to the minute I finally manage to stop worrying enough to eventually fall asleep. It used to be when I was younger that people just though I was a little more prone to stressing and my anxiety is actually still a source of much amusement to my family. But they only see the side of me that leaves half an hour too early for everything because I'm so scared of being late and seeming disrespectful. The side that won't (can't) go to the doctors for fear of being told that something more serious is afoot. The Danielle that stresses about every upcoming birthday, no matter how far away it happens to be (the next family birthday is actually in October now and I'm already having sleepless nights trying to plan it).

The first few months of the year are always tough on me. They include the majority of my families birthdays (February being the birth month of my dad, brother and son!) which means I spend an inordinate amount of time fretting that I've done enough, that they'll like the gifts I give. Hell I worry so much about the gifts I give to people I end up telling them what I got for them weeks before their birthday just to check that they will like it. I always buy presents the month before, so then there is plenty of time left over to stress about whether I should return it and go back to the drawing board. April sees me turn another year older and ten days later it is my daughters birthday. I wouldn't stress so much about April if it weren't for the fact that my birthday was so close to my daughters. I find myself every year telling my family and friends to ignore mine in favour of making more a fuss out of her. They ignore me every year and then I spend my birthday worrying that they've done too much for me, that it's going to overshadow my daughters day.

Writing all of this down now I feel ridiculous, but try as I might (and I really have tried) I can't shift this swirling feeling in my stomach. And all of that is just the half of it. I'm a stay-at-home mum at the minute, my daughter attends nursery in the morning and my son is full time at school. So I have a couple of hours child free every morning. My family tells me to make the most of it, have fun. So sometimes I spend this time playing the games I have to review. I go for the odd coffee morning with some friends. But every single time I'm doing something 'for me' I am listing ten thousand things in my head that I could have been doing instead. Housework, exercise etc. etc. My house is always clean and tidy. My kids are always well fed, happy and cared for yet I spend the majority of my life inventing more things I need to do. Endless lists occupy my phone and my handbag of things I must do by a self-imposed date and time. My heart races and I feel sick. My stomach swirls with the guilt of having given my children cereal for breakfast rather than a homemade, organic super fruit filled smoothie or something. I feel myself start to unravel, much like I'm doing here, rambling on and on about all of the ways I fail my children and my family. I keep it all internalised and it festers and grows to the point where I truly believe I am the worst mother that has ever existed. And all of this stems from attempting to have a little bit of time just for me.

So this last month I haven't written anything, mistakenly believing (or maybe hoping) that it was the stress of having to write down and share my thoughts on games that lead my mind to start wandering in that way. I played games that I wanted to play for me, rather than games I had to play to review. Of course it isn't the stress of writing that leads to the guilt I feel when I sit down and take five minutes for myself. It's made no difference. I still found my mind wandering during cutscenes in Quantum Break. Still felt that familiar swirling pit opening in my stomach, even once the kids were fast asleep. Because of course when they're asleep I should be ironing, wiping down kitchen units or any number of other household tasks.

This hasn't come out nearly as clearly as I had hoped it would, but I guess I shouldn't have expected it to when it comes from such an unclear and uncertain part of myself. I am the Queen of Second Guessing, I constantly question myself and the others around me. I find myself, months after the fact, replaying conversations I've had with my friends, or my kids teachers and cringing about what I'd said. When I did share this with friends it was always an unfounded worry, something they had completely forgotten about. Since I was a child I've had panic attacks over my fear of dying and recently I've found myself stressing about the fact that one day my children will die, a thought which made me wish I hadn't had them in the first place, which I know is absurd but in these anxiety fuelled moments that are coming thicker and faster as the years go on these are the dark corners my mind wanders to. That particular episode was during family film night, with both of them snuggled into me sharing popcorn and watching Star Wars The Force Awakens, a time where I should have just been happy and content was mired by my anxiety, again.

This month I have realised that my anxiety is ruling the majority of my life. Where it used to only come into play with things like doctors visits and appointment keeping it has now snuck into my downtime and is attempting to ruin that too. I won't let it. It has been the voice in my head telling me not to write this post, to just write one of the reviews I have been sitting on for weeks and ignore the gaping hole in the calendar where there were none. I can't. I have to acknowledge this side of me so as to attempt to control it. I needed to let the amazing developers and publishers that are kind enough to share their work with me that the reviews are coming. I needed to let anyone reading this little blog know that I never forget about you, I spend a massive amount of each day worrying that I haven't written anything in awhile, stressing to the point where I find I literally can't do it. I paralyse myself through my fear. I spend every waking moment fearing judgement; by other parents at the school gate, readers of this blog, hell even strangers on the street. I'm trying to adopt a calmer attitude, the 'I don't care what other people think of me' attitude that most of the people around me manage with ease. So please, bear with me.

The next few weeks I AM going to catch up with every outstanding review I have on the deck here. This mean you might see a review for a game that was released months ago. Please stick with me, I will be getting up-to-date again as soon as I possibly can. Thank you for being so patient thus far. And to any of my Twitter followers that have found their way here thank you so much for being the best set of followers I could ask for. I've had so few negative experiences on Twitter, and it is all you guys.

Nothing but love,
Dannie

The Town of Light (Steam) - Review

The Town of Light is available now on Steam and is priced at £13.99.

It's really tough to sit down and write a review about The Town of Light because it is a game unlike any other I've experienced. I say experienced because you really don't 'play' The Town of Light - you inhabit it. It isn't fun and it isn't entertaining, it is a story that needed to be told. It is an experience that preys on your feelings, on your ability to empathise.

You play as Renee, or more specifically a voice within Renee's head. You must guide her through a recreation of a very real psychiatric hospital in Tuscany; Volterra. And when I say recreation I really mean it, just compare these pictures to the screens on the Steam store to see how well the developer has transported the real asylum to the game. Renee has returned to Volterra after its closure and you must walk around the peeling halls looking for anything that will spark a flashback - which are beautifully hand-drawn storyboards. The story comes in snippets and has a few different endings depending upon what you do with your time whilst in the asylum.

The game is fairly good to look at, a little clunky and rough around the edges but within the asylum's wards they are much better. The voice acting is a little jarring too, in my opinion. I can't really put my finger on why if I'm honest, it was just something that I noticed affected my immersion in the game. Another thing that affected the strength of this game was how few things could be interacted with in the asylum. The world is populated with plenty of items, but very, very few of them can be picked up and when they can be you can;t really do much with them anyway, other than more them around your screen in what is essentially a rather clumsy way which makes text difficult to read. But lets be honest, these things aren't what you really play a game like The Town of Light for, you play for the story, for the experience. I'm not going to go into details with you, because that will always detract from your own experience, but suffice it to say that this game features an extremely emotive narrative - it's dark and depressing with only flashes of hope.

The Town of Light is a powerful story. It isn't overly long, but it will stick with you long after you've finished. It's not a game you can say you have enjoyed (or at least I hope no one has enjoyed it!) but it  is one that will have an affect on you. The Town of Light is a solid, thought-provoking experience, but I struggle to recommend it purely because of how dark it can be and I don't want to be responsible for people's sadness. That being said though I think a lot can be taken from The Town of Light. If you're at all curious, go for it.

7/10 TRY IT!

A code was provided for the purpose of this review.

The Solus Project (Xbox One) - Preview

The Solus Project is available now on the Xbox One and is priced at £11.99.

The Solus Project is another addition to the Game Preview Program on the Xbox One, which features games that are not yet fully finished. Most of them lack a little polish, some campaign or even whole modes when they first enter the Preview Program but they're constantly updated until launch. I have to say The Solus Project is one of the most polished games I've played on the Preview Program yet. Graphically it is superb, with no jagginess or drop in frame-rate encountered, by me at least. The Solus Project is also the first Preview Program game that released on Xbox in the the same window as it did on Steam, something I think it should get a lot of credit for, let's face it that couldn't have been the easiest week of the devs life.

So The Solus Project is a survival game. Yep, another one of those. I for one happen to love survival games, so I was very excited to get hands on with this. Unlike many other survival games there isn't a constant stream of nasties ready to off you in a moments notice, instead with The Solus Project you get a more pure survival experience, with you having to keep an eye out for things like dehydration, starvation and exposure instead of yet another gang of rabid animals out for your blood or whatever. Another thing that sets The Solus Project apart is the fact it actually features a strong, intriguing narrative - unlike many survival games that see you set out just to see how long you survive, The Solus Project sets you on a fairly linear path towards one ultimate goal meaning you actually have a reason to root around in dark caves and explore the furthest reaches of this alien planet. You still have plenty of scope to explore, but for now at least once you've explored an island or cave your only option is to travel to the next, but with this game only being in Preview still it could possibly become much more open as development progresses.

The Solus Project is a really well-made, atmospheric survival game that I thoroughly enjoyed. I am really looking forward to future updates, and I will come back here and update this review when I can. As always with a Preview game I am loath to give it a star rating right now, it is still an unfinished game after all. This isn't to say that I don't recommend it though - I wholeheartedly do - it's more about being fair. If I gave it say, an eight, now then where would it be able to go to from there? I'm hoping for many more excellent updates in this games future, and I want the score I eventually give it to reflect that.

Ironcast (Xbox One) - Review

Ironcast is available now on the Xbox One and is priced at £9.99.

Jeez, Ironcast is tough. As it stands I am yet to make it past day seven, if I ever do I will come back and update my review. So if you expect a review from someone who's completed it, you best look elsewhere because I haven't and I honestly don't know whether I ever will. But dammit I'm gonna keep trying - which is probably the biggest indicator I could give you of what I think of Ironcast.

Now I've got my little confession out of the way let's talk about the game. Ironcast is...well it's a crazy game that's a mash up of a match three puzzle game, with some turn-based tactical combat and RPG-ish levelling thrown in for good measure. I think. I can honestly say I've played nothing quite like this before.

Set in Victorian London you take control of an Ironcast - which is basically a big walking tank - in the battle for control of the Voltite. You then use the match three type game to fill your Ironcasts tanks, with orbs for things like Coolant and Ammo. NEVER under-estimate the importance of coolant - if you don't have enough of this you will overheat when you attempt to fire on the enemies tank. You get three moves per turn on the match three board, but you can fire, strengthen your defences or set your Ironcast walking towards the enemy as long as you have the power to do so. The match three gameplay isn't the same as say Candy Crush, as you can match in any direction. There are also switch nodes, which means you can collect two different kinds of power or scrap. Scrap is required to repair and upgrade your Ironcast in the Workshop, which you automatically go to after each battle. You also get access to Augmentations as you level up. Upon your death (which WILL happen) you get Commendation marks, which are used to give your Ironcast more permanent upgrades, rather than the ones given in the campaign - these are only available for the specific Ironcast you are using in this particular attempt at the campaign.

Usually with games I find tough I tend to give up and move onto a game that challenges me just enough, if that makes sense. But with Ironcast I've found myself keep going back, despite not being able to do it. If you're looking for something challenging, that's a bit different then Ironcast might just be what you're looking for.

7/10 TRY IT!

A code was provided for the purpose of this review.

Action Henk (Xbox One) - Review

Action Henk is available now on Xbox One and is priced at £11.99.

Action Henk is a side-scrolling speed-runner which sees you take on the role of Action Henk (and his opponents when you unlock them by beating them) in a wacky race to get to the end of the course as fast as possible. Do this by running, jumping and of course butt-sliding. Because what good is a speed-runner if you can't go faster by sitting on your arse?!

The graphics are loud and colourful. The story and cut-scenes could quite gladly disappear without losing anything from the game at all in my opinion. In fact the cut scenes take you out of the fast and frenetic gameplay that suits Action Henk so well, which can get kinda frustrating. Or maybe I'm just a really inpatient person. Yeah, actually it's probably the latter.

So as well as a single player mode, which sees you unlock new skills and new avatars to play as you get a multiplayer, including LOCAL multiplayer - a mode many games seem to be forgetting about. We're a gaming family in this house, so any game that allows us to sit in the same room and play together is given a lot of attention. When Ark was updated with Local Splitscreen, my son and I spent almost an entire day building a village together. It was AWESOME.

Action Henk is a good little pick-up-and-play game that does get really difficult to master, but it feels like it could have been more. A track creator mode would have been great, and would have made the most of the settings and props available. It's a simple game done well, that relies on you wanting, nay needing, to beat your friends to the top of the leaderboards. I have to admit to falling prey to this myself for a little while, replaying the same level over and over in a vain attempt at beating someone to only end up giving up in a rage half an hour later having gotten within .3 of a second of them. I used to play a fair bit of Trials on the Xbox 360 and would gladly spend an entire day fighting my way back to the top of a leaderboard my friend had managed to leapfrog me on. We had quite the battle going, spanning months and neither of us got sick of doing it but I find I have much less time these days for this type of thing, meaning I care much less about being at the top of the leaderboard and more about just being able to get through the levels. This is a very personal thing though and in no way means that the game isn't enjoyable, all I'm trying to say is that you yourself know whether you fall slave to a leaderboard. If you do (and you enjoy it ) then this game is definitely for you. If not, maybe you should look at something else.

6/10 TRY IT!

A code was provided for the purpose of this review. 

Layers of Fear (Xbox One) - Review

Layers of Fear is available now on the Xbox One and is priced at £15.99.

Layers of Fear has now left Early Access and has come to Xbox One in all of it's completed glory and silly old me, decided to review it. Because apparently I'm not the type of person who hides behind a sofa at the mere hint of a jump-scare.

The above is a complete lie. I buy horror games thinking I can do it, that I'm not as soft as I think I am etc etc, and inevitably end up quitting out five minutes later because I can't cope with the stress of it. My family decided to do run throughs on the timed mode in Alien: Isolation and I almost constantly had my hands over my face just watching my brother and my dad play. When it came to my turn I screamed so loud I woke one of my children up and my mum shouted at me. Oops.

So I did plan on streaming Layers of Fear, initially. I thought people would possibly delight in seeing me struggle to continue, looking like a bad extra in a found-footage horror film. Thankfully I decided to try out the game first and ultimately decided on sparing you from my terrified shrieks. You're welcome. I've since read that some people are slating Layers of Fear, saying that it isn't scary enough to constitute a horror game. I want to know whether they played a different version than I did, because I spent my time with the game utterly terrified but compelled to continue because I had a review to do. So thanks guys, for forcing me to be a tiny bit brave.

I think I found this game worse because I am quite OCD about going around inspect every corner of a game world. I want to pick up every piece of paper, peek in every cupboard. This can get very time consuming. The kitchen in Layers of Fear took me forever to get out of because I lost track of which cupboards I had opened so had to start again - only to find there was nothing of interest in them anyway. But in Layres of Fear, as well as being time consuming it really adds to the tension. This game could possibly have cured my OCD, as after awhile I gave up wanting to look in every nook and cranny and just walked around with my head down until it became clear the game wouldn't progress unless I looked up and actually did something. Meanie.

I don't really know what else to say about a horror game. I don't want to go into story because I don't want to spoil anything. I guess I could tell you that the graphics are pretty damn good, but just looking at screens can show you that. The atmosphere is fantastic in this game, perfect really. I was super scared throughout my play through and can't really say I properly enjoyed my time with the game, because that would probably make me a fairly sick individual. But I definitely had an experience, albeit one that I wanted to end quickly. I don't agree with the people who said it was;t scary at all, but I guess if you're a hardcore hour game fan you should probably check out more reviews and opinions and decide for yourself. This game petrified me, but maybe that just means I'm a soft arse.

8/10 BUY IT!

A code was provided for the purpose of this review. 

Prison Architect: Xbox One Edition (Xbox One) - Preview

Prison Architect: Xbox One Edition is available now for Xbox One and is priced at £19.99. It is currently in the Early Access section of the Xbox One Marketplace.

I was super excited when I first heard that Prison Architect was coming to Xbox One. I LOVE this game on PC but I love gaming on consoles more, so whenever I get the chance to play nine times out of ten I turn to a console. I was eager to try this one out but as the weeks went by and we got closer to the Early Access release I started to get worried. How well would the controls work without a keyboard and mouse? Would the game translate well onto our home consoles?

Well the answer is a resounding YES! I should have trusted the developers more, as they have delivered a fantastic experience onto the Xbox One. I'd argue that the controls work slightly better on the XB1 version than they do on PC, but maybe that's just because I am more at home with a controller. Prison Architect: Xbox One Edition works perfectly, much better than I had imagined it could.

Now obviously it is still in Early Access (I think I may have already mentioned that once or twice, haha) so there are things planned that will come in the future, including some of the scenarios for the Campaign mode and 'World of Wardens' which will allow players to share prisons. It doesn't have Achievements yet - I know that that's something that turns some people off - but they'll come eventually.

Prison Architect: Xbox One Edition is a game that already offers so much and yet still has so much more to give. I know I will be losing a lot of my time to this game. When any big updates come out I will come by and update this review. As far as I'm aware no date or price has been announced for the full release but I imagine it'll be more expensive when it does come out of Early Access (as was the case with Elite Dangerous). If it's something you think you'll ever have an interest in, pick it up now. Personally, I love to watch the games in Early Access coming together to be the final product, and as I mentioned this game has more than enough to keep you busy for now. I'm not going to give a score to a game that isn't fully released, but I have no qualms in recommending this game as it is now.